Friday, September 2, 2011

Friday Fragments...Life is in Session

It doesn't matter what I do, life keeps happening.
Work, home. Home, work.
Home, work, home, work.
Maybe that's why in school, we had to do homework.
I am at a point in my life where, I have to take care of myself and my family.
Mike and I have our "kids", Coco and Zip.
 Coco is so sweet and loving, and is the best snuggler in the world!

Here's Zip, with her house buddy, Rascal.

They bring a lot of love to our lives.  So does our human family.  But, unfortunately, we all have times when we disappoint one another.  It is difficult when I have a young person in my family who is making poor choices.  But I have to remember that I have made mistakes in my own journey.

 So I hope and pray that things will get better.  I cannot control the choices of a young adult.  My mother is an incredible narcissist, and tried to control me and my brothers for most of our lives.  It was extremely difficult to live with a person, whose approval I learned to be so dependent upon.  Every error in judgment, every little mistake I made, just in the course of growing up, was met with "Don't you know how what YOU do affects Me???" 

I didn't realize for many, many years, that isn't normal parenting.  Being a parent requires a lot of selfless choices and unconditional love.  I didn't get that from my mom.

As a result of my experiences, I have probably detatched, and sometimes, to a fault.  I have learned to let go, and let God...I care about others, especially  my own family, no matter how much I love them, but I do my best to stay out of their lives when it comes to the decision-making.

When I got to the worst point in my life, I was drinking way too much, and it was beginning to affect my life in all aspects - personal, professional, no fun, no progress...and I was physically manifesting symptoms of my was awful...And my family had had enough.  They looked to me to help myself.
And so, I did.  And it has made all the difference.

My son is still in a bad place.  I have to pray for him until he gets to the point where he wants to help himself.
Meanwhile, I am heartbroken.

Please pray for us both, and for the rest of our friends and family.

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