Sunday, January 8, 2012
And so it goes. I am continuing to adjust to single life. But it's a process.
Some of my friends are the "come out and party with us" types. Thank God they were around on New Year's Eve, or I would have been alone. How sad would that have been?
Some of my friends are the controlling type. "You need to do this." "You don't need to do that." I know they mean well, but I'm going to do what is best for me.
They may know me well, but only I know my whole story. Only I know what I truly need.
I need friends who love me and don't judge me. Friends who know that I need nurturing. Friends who not only listen, but hear what I am saying.
I need to learn to take down the wall between me and those few people in my life with which I can achieve true intimacy.
But in order to do that, I need to get reacquainted with myself. I need to learn what I need and what I want.
I need to find what I am passionate about, explore it, and feed it. I need to let my heart heal.
And of that means surrounding myself with friends sometimes, that's okay. If I'm doing something or spending time with someone, in large, to feed my ego, right now I'm just fine with that.
I'm rebuilding my self esteem. I'm making Gina a better person. Because honestly, for the last six months or so, I did not like who she had become.
Bit by bit, the old me is coming back.
So you'd better look out.